Living Well Counselling Services Inc. - Calgary Alberta

Finding the Right Marriage Counsellor

There’s no shame in admitting that your marriage needs help. Sometimes issues come up and neither you nor your spouse can figure out how to resolve these problems. Being able to admit that there’s a problem is the first step to fixing it. The next step is to get help. And this is where marriage counselling comes in. It can be difficult to open up about deeply personal issues with someone who’s essentially a stranger to you, but these people are trained professionals and they understand exactly how to help you.

Why You Need to be Careful

How to find a counsellor that’s right for you is very important. While all therapists and counsellors undergo training and certification, they’re still people at the end of the day. This means that they will handle different problems using different solutions. With a matter as sensitive as marriage therapy, you need to make sure that both you and your spouse are comfortable with them and that they can provide the kind of help you need to strengthen your marriage. Can Marriage Counselling Help? There are a lot of different opinions regarding marriage counselling. There are many who claim that it served to exacerbate the problems in their marriage while others claim that their marriages would have crumbled without it. At the end of the day, counselling is only helpful when the therapist and the couple are all working together to resolve issues. If there’s some kind of disconnect between the three parties, then success seems less likely. This is why you need to know how to find a counsellor that’s right for you.

Find Someone Trained to Help Couples

There are several factors to keep in mind before committing to a marital therapist. Among the various points that you need to consider, one of them would be the training the counsellor has received. Couples counselling isn’t the same as individual counselling because the needs and structure of the therapy sessions are very different from each other. A counsellor on the individual level will provide you with the guidance to process your emotions and will let you take the reins mostly. In a couple’s session, the therapist is meant to function as a mediator and supposed to defuse conflict and help identify the areas which need to be worked on without taking sides. There are many counsellors out there who say that they provide counselling for couples because they believe that there’s nothing unique or different about couple’s therapy. This is an incorrect assumption on their part. When researching therapists, it would be a good idea to ask questions about their qualifications in couples counselling, such as if they have any credentials in models designed by the Gottman Institute for example. Another helpful tip to determine whether a potential counsellor is capable of helping you, would be to ask about how often they see couple clients during the day. Those who tend to more couples in the day are going to be more experienced at handling the specific needs of marital therapy, whereas those who don’t regularly meet clients that are couples will lack the necessary experience and expertise.

The Approach of the Therapist

How to find a counsellorFiguring out how to find the right counsellor for you is also dependent on factors other than how well versed they are with couple’s therapy. The methods that a counsellor employs to help you are also crucial to the success of your sessions. The first and foremost thing to keep in mind is that your counsellor’s only priority should be to help you resolve your problems with your spouse. Harmony is the end goal here. Your counsellor should not replace solutions with their opinions. In the context of the sessions they need to be as neutral as possible. So if your therapist begins suggesting divorce or starts saying that your problems can’t be resolved, then you need a new therapist. Also of note is that some therapists might suggest a single strategy for helping your marriage. This is also an extremely unhelpful approach because people (and couples) are all distinct from one another and a standard approach will not be successful in every case. Any therapist that insists your marriage will not succeed if it follows a ‘cookie-cutter’ pattern, is not adequately qualified to help you resolve your problems. And remember, marriage counsellors are people and not all-knowing entities. They aren’t privy to any secret information that tells them when a couple needs to give up. Many who attend marital therapy don’t seem to realise this fact and take it to heart when the counsellor talks about incompatibility. In truth, that’s merely an opinion and not a fact. It must not be treated as an objective assessment on the state of your marriage.

They Shouldn’t Encourage You to Part with Your Spouse

As said earlier, the therapist shouldn’t be suggesting divorce as though it is a solution. Any counsellor who recommends it has a fundamental misunderstanding of how to approach couple’s therapy. Taking this advice too seriously might lead to more problems than it can resolve. First and foremost, divorce is a massive decision to be making. It’s not just a matter of the couple themselves being affected (which is bad enough on its own), but also the families involved. If the couple has had children, then divorce tends to cause a fair amount of trauma to the children and strain between one or both of the parents. Aside from that, counsellors need to be aware that a lot of the time that couples are upset with each other, it’s a momentary issue and not necessarily an unsalvageable situation. If they lack that awareness and suggest divorce then they aren’t doing any favours to you. Conclusion It can be overwhelming and scary to admit your marriage is in trouble. And it can certainly feel stressful when you have to figure out how to find a counsellor that’s right for you. But as long as you ask the right questions and focus on repairing your marriage you will be able to get the best out of the experience.   Living Well Counselling Services Inc. 4803 Centre Street Northwest #4, Calgary, AB T2E 2Z6 (403) 695-7911

Counselling Calgary -Living Well

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Living Well counselling services inc. was created with Helping you and any issues you may be having. our goal is to help you find a Psychologist or Counsellor that can fit your needs and personality well. If you require to meet with  us for anxiety, addictions or depression, are in need of couples therapy, anger management tools or an LGBTQ friendly therapist, One of our top local Counsellors will be a fit for you Living Well strives to keep  our rates lower than the set rate for most other practices, and We have therapists covered by benefits should you have access to extended health coverage. Although We are a counselling service based in Calgary  ,we now serve clients worldwide through the advances of technology. We also offer a free 20-minute initial consultation to